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Everything you say can and will be used against you in a family law case. Don't believe it? Let's talk about how your social media use affects your divorce , custody , or other family law matter. The expansion of social media over the past decade has created a seismic shift in the way people communicate, both to one another and about themselves. A recent study by the Pew Research Centerdetermined that 71% of adults online regularly used social media networking websites. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are incredibly rich sources of information. When you litigate a family law matter, or any lawsuit, the parties engage in what is called “discovery”. Discovery is the process by which parties learn about one another’s case and obtain the evidence in the case. During the course of discovery you may be asked under oath about your social media posting,s and you may be compelled to provide access to your social media profiles. Less frequent, but on the rise, are demands for access to cell phones, laptops and other electronic devices. Think about your social media postings and texts. Is there anything you wouldn't want a court to see? Social Media's Evolving Role in Family Law As few as five years ago it was mostly just e-mails, texts, pornography use and adultery you needed to be concerned about coming to light. Now, it is everything, because so much of our lives are memorialized in social media and recorded on our electronic devices. Much of the information you give away you are not even aware of—such as your presence at a particular place and time, including pretty extensive documenting of exactly where your phone has traveled. Your Facebook page, Instagram account, tweets, and the like reflect who you are: your values and priorities, religious and political beliefs, interests and thoughts. The photos, tweets, memes and comments give an impression of your character and what is important to you. Most people like to post pictures of themselves having fun; they like to make irreverent, sarcastic and often caustic remarks on social media. Most of it they post for “friends” who already know them. As you post, you probably assume that your readers will take your post in the context of their long experience with you, or even hope that your post will give newer acquaintances a certain impression of you. If you are like most people, you probably haven't viewed your social media postings through the lens of how a judge might view those postings when determining your role in the demise of your marriage, or your fitness as a parent. If your spouse claims you drink too much and there are multiple photographs of you partying on Facebook and Instagram, that will lend significant credibility to the claims. If your spouse complains you neglect the children and you have joked on social media about what a drag your parenting obligations are, your posts will give credence to those claims. If confronted by a judge with your own words you might protest, “I was only kidding,” or “that’s out of context,” but that may not be persuasive in the harsh light of a courtroom. Another pitfall of social media in family law cases involves claims regarding lifestyle and income. Let's say you are self-employed and have told your spouse you cannot afford the alimony or child support they are demanding. If your social media posts are full of pictures of you on vacation or with expensive new "toys," your protests of poverty are going to ring hollow. A judge might reason that if you are lying about your income, you may be lying about other things as well. Your credibility could be irreparably damaged. Other Data That Can Be Used Against You Have you checked the privacy and location settings on your phone? Or your child’s phone? Most likely your every movement is being tracked by your phone. Your cellular account or your child’s may have been opened and managed by your spouse, who may therefore have access to your whereabouts through your phone even after you separate. Even if not, a forensic examination of your phone will likely reveal far more than you would like about where you have been, when and for how long. Another vast source of personal information may be your shopping history on Amazon. Many people shop extensively on Amazon, and there may be a wealth of information regarding personal habits included in your or your spouse’s shopping history. I had a case recently where we used EBay records to document the existence and value of a massive memorabilia collection and my client was able to get a reasonable compensation for her marital share of a collection her spouse denied having had. Whether it’s bank records, cell phone bills, text messages, voice messages, email or just what you are watching on Netflix, I often encounter spouses who don’t change passwords, and their estranged spouse continues to access their information on a regular basis. In addition to the potential serious litigation perils this creates, it is invasive and unsettling to have your estranged or former spouse knowing the intimate details of your life. As the use of social media sites and dependence on electronic devices continues to increase, the potential evidence available to litigators has expanded exponentially. Social media information is now routinely requested and reviewed in family law litigation. It is an incredibly fruitful area for the exposure of personal information. Courts can and do compel people in family law cases to produce or provide access to their social media and electronic devices. How to Protect Yourself On numerous occasions I have successfully contradicted a witness’s testimony through the use of their own social media, and it is devastating to their credibility and case. The best thing to do during family law litigation is to avoid social media altogether. People who are involved in a divorce or custody case are often tempted to delete their accounts and attempt to scrub their online lives, but if litigation has begun it is too late; these actions may be considered destruction of evidence and can lead to serious repercussions. To date, I have not had a single client who wanted to share their Facebook or Instagram postings with a court, or appreciated being tracked by an estranged spouse. So, think carefully about what information you are sharing, what evidence you are creating, and what a judge might think about you and your image on social media. If you need more advice about dealing with social media issues during your divorce, support or custody case, we can help, and invite you to contact our law office .

Divorce is never easy, but when high-conflict dynamics are involved, the process can become particularly challenging. High-conflict divorces often involve intense emotions, frequent disputes, and significant stress for everyone involved, especially children. While traditional litigation can escalate tensions and prolong the resolution, mediation offers an alternative that can help both parties find common ground and reach a more amicable settlement. Understanding High-Conflict Divorces High-conflict divorces are characterized by a persistent pattern of antagonistic interactions between spouses. This can manifest in various ways, including: Frequent and intense arguments Inability to agree on even minor issues High levels of mistrust and resentment Use of children as pawns in disputes Allegations of abuse or controlling behavior These dynamics not only make the divorce process more contentious but can also have lasting negative effects on everyone involved, particularly children. It’s crucial to find a way to manage and resolve these conflicts to minimize the emotional toll. The Role of Mediation Mediation is a collaborative process in which a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps the divorcing couple communicate and negotiate to reach a mutually acceptable agreement. Unlike litigation, which is adversarial in nature, mediation focuses on cooperation and finding solutions that work for both parties. Benefits of Mediation in High-Conflict Divorces Reduced Tension and Conflict: Mediation encourages open communication and understanding, helping to reduce the animosity between parties. The mediator facilitates discussions, ensuring that both parties have the opportunity to express their concerns and needs in a controlled environment. Control Over Outcomes: In mediation, the parties retain control over the final agreement, rather than leaving decisions up to a judge. This empowerment can lead to more satisfactory and sustainable solutions, as both parties are actively involved in crafting the outcome. Confidentiality: Mediation sessions are private, keeping sensitive information out of the public domain. This confidentiality can make it easier for both parties to speak openly and honestly, fostering a more productive dialogue. Focus on Children's Best Interests: Mediation prioritizes the well-being of children, encouraging parents to work together to create parenting plans that support their children's needs. This child-centered approach can help mitigate the negative impact of divorce on children. Cost-Effective and Time-Saving: Mediation is generally faster and less expensive than going to court. By reducing the duration and cost of the divorce process, mediation can alleviate some of the financial and emotional burdens on both parties. How to Find Common Ground in Mediation 1. Choose the Right Mediator: Selecting a mediator with experience in high-conflict divorces is crucial. A skilled mediator can navigate the complexities of your case, facilitate effective communication, and help de-escalate tensions. 2. Prepare for Mediation: Come to mediation sessions prepared to discuss your concerns and goals. Being organized and having a clear understanding of your priorities can help you communicate more effectively and stay focused on finding solutions. 3. Stay Open-Minded: Approach mediation with a willingness to compromise. High-conflict divorces often involve deeply entrenched positions, but mediation requires flexibility and a readiness to consider alternative perspectives and solutions. 4. Focus on Interests, Not Positions: Instead of sticking rigidly to specific demands, try to understand the underlying interests and needs of both parties. This can open up possibilities for creative solutions that satisfy both parties' core concerns. 5. Keep Children's Well-Being at the Forefront: Always prioritize the best interests of your children. This focus can help you and your spouse find common ground on parenting plans and custody arrangements, reducing conflict and fostering a more cooperative co-parenting relationship. Conclusion High-conflict divorces are undeniably challenging, but mediation offers a path to finding common ground and reaching amicable solutions. By reducing tension, maintaining control over outcomes, and prioritizing children's well-being, mediation can help both parties navigate the divorce process more smoothly and constructively. At Joehl Law, we are committed to supporting our clients through high-conflict divorces with expert mediation services designed to foster cooperation and achieve lasting resolutions. If you are facing a high-conflict divorce, contact us today to learn more about how mediation can benefit you and your family.

A well-crafted parenting plan is a crucial component of successful co-parenting. It provides a clear and structured framework for raising your children, ensuring that both parents understand their roles and responsibilities. By addressing key considerations and anticipating potential challenges, you can create a parenting plan that promotes stability, consistency, and a positive environment for your children. The Importance of a Parenting Plan A parenting plan outlines how divorced or separated parents will raise their children. It covers various aspects of child-rearing, including living arrangements, visitation schedules, decision-making responsibilities, and communication protocols. A comprehensive parenting plan helps reduce conflict, provides predictability for children, and ensures that both parents remain actively involved in their children's lives. Key Considerations for Creating an Effective Parenting Plan 1. Focus on the Best Interests of the Child The primary goal of any parenting plan should be to serve the best interests of the child. This includes providing a stable and loving environment, meeting the child's emotional and physical needs, and ensuring that both parents play an active role in their upbringing. Consider the child's age, personality, and any special needs when creating your plan. 2. Establish Clear Custody and Visitation Schedules Clearly define where and when the child will spend time with each parent. This includes regular schedules, such as weekdays and weekends, as well as holidays, vacations, and special occasions. Consistency is key to providing children with a sense of security and routine. 3. Detail Decision-Making Responsibilities Specify how major decisions regarding the child's education, healthcare, extracurricular activities, and religious upbringing will be made. Determine whether decisions will be made jointly or if one parent will have the final say in certain areas. Clear guidelines can help prevent conflicts and ensure that both parents are on the same page. 4. Create a Communication Plan Effective communication between co-parents is essential for successful co-parenting. Outline how you will communicate about the child's needs, schedule changes, and other important matters. This can include regular meetings, phone calls, emails, or the use of co-parenting apps. Establishing communication protocols can help reduce misunderstandings and keep both parents informed. 5. Address Financial Responsibilities Clearly define each parent's financial responsibilities, including child support, healthcare costs, educational expenses, and other child-related costs. Transparency and fairness in financial matters can prevent disputes and ensure that the child's needs are met. 6. Plan for Dispute Resolution Even the most well-crafted parenting plans may require adjustments over time. Include a mechanism for resolving disputes, such as mediation or counseling. Having a predefined process for addressing disagreements can help you find solutions quickly and amicably. 7. Be Flexible and Adaptable Life circumstances can change, and your parenting plan should be flexible enough to accommodate these changes. Be prepared to revisit and modify the plan as needed to ensure that it continues to serve the best interests of your child. Open communication and a willingness to adapt are essential for long-term co-parenting success. 8. Consider the Child's Preferences As children grow older, their preferences and needs may change. Take their opinions into account when appropriate, especially regarding living arrangements and visitation schedules. Involving children in the decision-making process, when suitable, can help them feel valued and respected. 9. Prioritize Consistency and Stability Children thrive in consistent and stable environments. Strive to maintain similar routines, rules, and expectations in both households. Consistency helps children feel secure and reduces confusion or anxiety about moving between homes. 10. Seek Professional Guidance Creating an effective parenting plan can be complex, and seeking professional guidance can be beneficial. Family law attorneys, mediators, and child psychologists can provide valuable insights and help you navigate the process. Professional assistance ensures that your parenting plan is comprehensive, fair, and legally sound. Conclusion  An effective parenting plan is the foundation of successful co-parenting. By focusing on the best interests of your child, establishing clear guidelines, and maintaining open communication, you can create a plan that promotes stability and cooperation. At Joehl Law, we are dedicated to helping parents develop parenting plans that work for their unique situations. Contact us today to learn more about how we can assist you in creating a plan that ensures your child's well-being and supports positive co-parenting relationships.